Im also glad to hear that you have cleaned up your language and began adhering to the Word of Wisdom. What a mighty force for good you are! You said you feel good where you are at, and that probably is because the Lord has forgiven you. The words the Lord has inspired in the revelations and in present-day teachingshigher, holier, accelerate, increase, strengthen, greater, transform, remodel, improve, enhance, change, deepen, stretchare words of spiritual growth (see RussellM. Nelson, Becoming Exemplary Latter-day Saints, Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2018, 11314). While working towards a temple marriage when dating, a couple must keep God's law of chastity, one of the basic guidelines of LDS dating. The one thing I havent been able to kick is sexual purity. When I go to the MTC and confess, will they send me back home? To become free from it, we must turn to our Heavenly Father, pray in faith, and act as He asks us to. It is used over 600 times in the Old Testament and is translated by such words as "turn," "return," "seek," or "restore." Right now, I am forced to attend a college that I dont like due to issues at my other college aka BYU-Idaho. He will support and love you and help you. A frequent question I receive from young readers is regarding therepentance process. Talk to your bishop as soon as possible. If all you can do is a few hours, then do it and thank Heavenly Father and Christ and the Holy Ghost and those angles send to help you and take courage from it and increase from there. The fact that you want to go on a mission and you want a temple marriage, and that you have other righteous desires shows me that the seed of Gods word has been planted in your heart and that it is sprouting because of your faith (see Alma 32: 28-30). The Church recommends that at least a year pass from the original church council. However, we can read some passages that show us that Adam and Eve could have repented of their sins. He made his choice and you made yours, stick to your choice and dont give him another thought, another chance, another inch, cause he will take it. Hi so when I was 12 I was sucked into the addiction of pornography for 5 months, I knew it was bad but I didnt understand how bad. Im a junior in college and last weekend things went too far with my boyfriend. In addition, we must confess serious sinssuch as adultery, fornication, homosexual relations, spouse or child abuse, and the sale or use of illegal drugswhich might affect our standing in the Church, to the proper priesthood authority. Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. (Joshua 1:9) Good luck and God bless. Willing restitution shows the Lord that we will do all we can to repent. Rather, it is like decay that gradually and silently damages your teeth. But scence then everything has been pointing me to go. It started with masturbation and pornography. Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. He will love and support and help you. A thoughtful apology might sound something like: Im sorry that I didnt do the dishes last night like I had agreed to. I have been so against the church for the past couple years and really dont know how to go about this. Is there mercy for me? Continue to talk with him on a regular basis. Study 2Corinthians 7:910 and Mormon 2:1014. We eventually ended up having sex and tried to stop multiple times, as both of us plan on going on missions. I know that a mission is something that would be amazing for my life and my future. God loves you and his servants on earth, such as your bishop, love you and want the best for you. I feel as if I have to leave soon or else I will have missed the time. May I asked if your repentance included confessing your actions to your bishop? Eventually I was able to stop involving myself with it, and I prayed and asked for forgiveness, but I still was taking the sacrament and was too embarrassed and afraid to tell anyone because I didnt want them to be disappointed. May God bless and be with you. Ive even fasted for forgiveness, and I dont usually fast for medical reasons. I bless you to communicate the love of the Savior to your wife and children and to all who know you. This will help you in ways you may not now realize. As we repent and rely on His saving grace, we will be cleansed from sin. Your bishop will be able to help you know what must be done to repent and become clean and when it will be complete. He will help you repent, which is the most important focus for you right now, and also he will be able to tell you if a mission could still be in your future. He has been called and set apart by priesthood authority to be a judge in Israel (D&C 107: 72) and as such, he is granted the gift to discern (D&C 46:27) things such as the worthiness of the church members in his congregation. BruceR. McConkie, 3 vols. I finished my probation and later I broke the LOC. This means that as much as possible we must make right any wrong that we have done. Josiah, Im sorry about what happened. So much depends on the person involved, the nature of the transgressions and the inspiration of the church leaders (your bishop and stake president). i have been breaking the law of chastity for sometime and i have come to realized that it is a grievance sin. First let the words of God sink deep into your heart and let them be reflected in all your actions. -Mosiah 3:19 For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.. Heres my question: Im terrified by the possibility of how long the repentance process could take. God loves you and wants to help you overcome these addictive habits. Preparation for a mission is essential. All of salvation, including repentance and faith, is a result of God drawing us, opening our eyes, and changing our hearts. And will the Bishop makes us break up or we can keep our relationship? I have already quit smoking after 13 years, drinking coffee, watching any entertainment media and video games, and a few other things. But I was on Facebook earlier (on an LDS moms page) and they were having a conversation which included masturbation, I honestly had no clue about masturbation being against the law of chastity and now I feel awful and disgusting. No one can ever be forgiven of any transgression until there is repentance, and one has not repented until he has bared his soul and admitted his intentions and weaknesses without excuses or rationalizations. Hi. It has been such a negative experience, and I know I will never do something so awful again. It neutralizes our hurt feelings and makes room in our hearts for love to flourish and grow. Your answer to this question sends a direct message to Him about your feelings regarding His transcendent gift to you. Follow their counsel and hopefully, you will be able to return to the mission field soon. about two years ago, I began indulging in inappropriate activities because I had completely lost faith in the church and had no remorse. Repenting means experiencing a change of mind that now sees God as true and beautiful and worthy of all our praise and all our obedience. Others withdraw emotionally from the relationship. He knows about my precious sins, but just not that I slipped again. Whether or not he can still hold a calling will depend on the seriousness of how he broke the law of chastity. Again, its impossible for me to say. Eli, I encourage you to be completely open and honest with your bishop as you meet with him in preparation for your mission. I am also planning to apply for a mission by next year but would i have to open this up for my mission prep? Basically, does it matter which bishop it is. I know Ive had a change of heart. Now this young man is going through the repentance process with our bishop (were in the same ward) because of past sexual sins he has apparently committed. If it is something where I would need to wait a year, I would rather not ask or tell anyone I had the idea and I would stop considering it in the mean time. May the Lord guide you and direct you through the promptings of His Holy Spirit as you go through the repentance process. If we stumble or fall, if we miss that mark at times, let us turn and re-aim for Him. A week prior to reporting to the MTC, I was flushed with temptation to masturbate. I appreciate your candidness. When He began His public ministry, Jesus said, " Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand!" (Matthew 4:17, emphasis added throughout). We didnt have sex, but we definitely broke the law of chastity. For adultery, the Church tells local priesthood leaders that there is a mandatory one-year repentance process, though it could be two or three years depending on the seriousness of the sin and what the priesthood leaders feel is the right thing to do. Those serious sins are: If your bishop is unclear or needs more information, he will ask for it. The Church Handbook for priesthood leaders says that this period can be as long as three years for multiple serious transgressions and should not be less than one year from the most recent serious incident. I started attending church and paying my tithe a couple weeks ago(minus sacrament meeting). There is a better way and that is tapping into the power that our Savior freely gives us. We stopped recently. God loves you. I mean that my month to turn in my mission papers is January. If you resent someone for something he has doneor failed to doforget it. What is the best thing for me to do? Thats wonderful that you have a desire to serve a mission. Remember that because of the death and suffering of our Savior Jesus Christ, his atoning sacrifice, and by following His prescribed ordinances, though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool (Isaiah 1:18). While in the relationship we broke the law of chastity (never intercourse) but we definitely went to far several times. He was your brother in heaven and he knows you very very well. Ive since realized how terrible of a decision it has been and I regret everything. I am currently 22 and I turn 23 in January. Do I ask my bishop now, or do I wait to see if my bishop feels it is necessary to approach me about it? These same principles apply within a marriage, and perhaps more so. I have an engineering degree, a very mathematical, logical science, and I have worked as an analyst, a very data-driven, logical profession, for most of my career. Righteous Living. He needs men who intentionally work to hear the voice of the Spirit with clarity. What if I broke the law of chastity 5 years ago and I have a change of heart and I stopped doing that? If you did not do that, perhaps that is why your former transgressions continue to bother you. What does repentance entail? Im a female and just recently turned 18. A simple sorry or the slightly more eloquent sorry about that rarely provides the necessary evidence that you feel remorseful and take responsibility for your actions. Having a defined, universal waiting period is akin to offering up 30 hail Marys and 50 our Fathers. Letting Go of Hurt Forgiveness is the perfect antidote for the poison of resentment. Jim, A quick answer to your question is yes. Stephen, I applaud your righteous desires to repent and serve a mission. Im 18 and its currently January, I hope to put my mission papers in April. Thus many, if not most, of the temptations he puts in our path cause us to abuse our bodies or the bodies of others. I dont know what to do. James, To be honest with you, the chances of you going on a mission may be small. We confess our shame and guilt, and then plead for help. This is for a friend. It wasnt right, and I apologize. Such an open and honest apology can do wonders for healing wounded hearts. Therefore, he should make plans to speak with his bishop as soon as possible. Do I have any chance of returning to the field? I plead with you to be the men and young men the Lord needs you to be. Am I still eligible to go? my partner in crime wants to marry me in two years from now. How long will the repentance process take? Remember the words of King Benjamin from the Book of Mormon: I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. And you do!! Most bishops, I believe, would want to see that you have had at least a month or two of abstinence from pornography and masturbation before they approve you for missionary service and send in your paperwork. I didnt walk away and choose to remain friends with her. You may be surprised at how understanding and loving she will be. Now, I ask you, brethren, are you more interested in dressing and grooming your body to appeal to the world than to please God? It seems that raising the bar means one has to repent differently than normal. One of the more neglected tools that can help us grow in our holiness is the confession of sins one to another (James 5:16). Repentance means to surrender one's lifeone's whole being, both mind and bodyto God's will as expressed in His revealed Word. Whether you are diligently moving along the covenant path, have slipped or stepped from the covenant path, or cant even see the path from where you are now, I plead with you to repent. If we have lied, we will lie no more. This tells me that with the Church repentance is very conditional. In fact, to me, the restored gospel is very logical. Good luck and God bless to your friend. I know on one the mission interview questions asked about illegal drug use and that really worries me because I do not know what it mean for means for me. He will take your confession and make sure those things have been fully resolved and cleared up and then you will be able to be baptized. Faith is to know He will." 3 Repentance must begin with faith in Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ suffered the penalty for our sins so we can be forgiven if we sincerely repent. If Christ did not require faith and repentance, then there would be no desire to change. There is a process in. Please know that the worth of your soul is great in the sight of God (D&C 18:10). He told me that I had to be clean for three months, but it is extremely difficult for me because it is really hard to control myself. That is a good and righteous desire. He knows you better than anyone else does, he created you, he knows Satan and You and he knows you can succeed!! You may try reading a book called Will Power is Not Enough. It was written by an LDS author and talks about tapping into the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ to overcome addictive behavior. But I let these things happened. Coming from one who has had a sexual impurity problem since childhood and am now in my 30s. There needs to be evidence that you are truly sorry that you have hurt or offended your spouse and that you take responsibility for your mistake or offense. I am a woman, currently 22 and is born in the covenant. even if it means all you can do is lay down and cry yourself to sleep. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. Remember the words of Isaiah, Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool (Isaiah 1:18) and what the Lord told Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery Behold, your sins are forgiven you; you are clean before me; therefore, lift up your heads and rejoice.. I have a question. The most important thing is that you follow the promptings of the Spirit of God. Am I still virtuous in the sight of God?. Heavenly Father loves you and has provided His Son Jesus Christ as a sacrifice so that we can repent, change, and become clean again. The Lord revealed to the Prophet Joseph Smith, By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sinsbehold, he will confess them and forsake them (D&C 58:43). Bnd I dont know if I have truly sinned or not. When we repent, our life changes. And also please know that God loves you and with strengthen you and support you. We are not repentant if we do not sustain the authorities of the Church and do not love the Lord and our fellowmen. This change of mind also embraces Jesus in the same way. There are specific ways in which we can likely improve. This means not engaging in premarital sex or any kind of sexual activity (which includes petting with or without clothes on). When we experience godly sorrow, we have a sincere desire for change and a willingness to submit to every requirement for forgiveness. Good luck and God bless. Before we can repent, 2 Corinthians 7 teaches we must have godly sorrow. So be sure to talk to your bishop as soon as possible. You dont want to enter the MTC and begin your mission with this sin hanging over your head. It is likely that your mission will be delayed, but with complete, sincere repentance, you will probably still be able to come on a mission. We try to become better listeners. Repentance and forgiveness are complementary principles. We cannot progress without it. 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